Web traffic is useless if it’s unqualified.  

Your gear gets bought as a result of visits to your online environs. We call those visits web traffic. You know this, this is SEO 101.

Mark Twain doesn’t like the word ‘very’ (so don’t use it, Mark) 

If Mark feels that strongly about ‘really’ and ‘very’ then seriously, he shouldn’t use them.

Should content writers launch a Luddite rebellion against ChatGPT? 

The concern that new technology will steal jobs has not gone away. The 21st-century’s weaving loom is (currently) ChatGPT.

Prospects lie when they say you’re a perfect fit

Those scamps tentatively ask about your services. They pussyfoot around the subject, tepidly enquiring about what it is you do — even though it clearly states on your profile what it is you do.

Your blog is blah: 6 ways to blog better

Is your blog a bit of a jerk? In its defence, it may not know it is. Perhaps no one was around to teach it.

Personal brand: what fresh bollocks is this?

I am about to board the bandwagon of complaining about the new bandwagon.

Selling is dead! All you need now is your personality! (Jesus wept)

The Social Media Wisdom Directive 275 clearly states you only need a personality to sell stuff.

Just be you: is it that easy in business?

If you’re a normal (ish) person, you’ll have a pretty easy time being you – no matter what you’re doing. But if you’re a bit off-kilter, things can be challenging.

Make sales with content (why else bother with it?)

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say you want your business to make money. I’m going to make the further wild assumption that any investment you fork out for should bring in the cash. 

Content writing: the ONLY reason to get hot for it

Since reading my stuff (all this time) you know all there is to know about content writing. Shit, I bet you could write a book about it.

Blogging is dead: the lie that won’t die

Not boarding the blog express coz of some half-baked notion that blogging is dead?

Social selling: more business bullshit to buy into

Think of social selling as modern relationship-building… Christ, pass the sick bucket.

Ideal client: that bitch is me

You’re not at all surprised that I am my own ideal client, to you, it’s beyond obvious.

The ‘dangers’ of humour in business copy

You won’t hit the mark with everyone in the demographic you’re marketing to. Embrace that knowledge and move on.

3 things Aristotle nailed about brilliant copywriting

I promise this will make sense – ignore your gut feeling that I’m scraping the content barrel.

Denise is the worst prospect and here’s why

Denise: the worst prospect ever to cast a shadow over my inbox. See, she’ll never hire me.

What does engaging content even mean?

I saw a post from one of my Linkedin connections about this (yeah, Linkedin, I’m hella cool).

Specialist vs generalist is a stanky red herring

There’s a whole lotta talk around the subject of specialist vs generalist. People get bent outta shape about… wait for it… niching.

What the hell is pillar content and why do you need it?

The phrase has got me thinking of content like a towering structure of biblical proportions. Huge. Immense. Gargantuan. Erect…

Stop murdering your copy with clichéd phrases

Some find it difficult to shake off their stuffy business sensibilities. Even when they want to change things up, they still lean towards playing it safe.

Content writing and copywriting: your website needs both

Having a basic understanding of this thorny issue will make your website content much better.

Dear potential clients: I don’t want to collaborate

You may be wondering what’s crawled up my backside this time – Christ, how long have you got? Metaphorically speaking, obvs.

Social media engagement vs quality leads

I am a bitter, forty-something woman who yearns to boost her own fragile ego with comments and likes.

Learn to write business content like a psychopath

Do you ever read something and think, I’m sorry, what? I don’t just mean this post title but other stuff, on the socials and the like?

Write a business blog that won’t bore YOU shitless

I’m laying it all on the goddam table: business blogs are terrible. They suck harder than any experienced sex worker.

Are your customers stupid? No, they’re probably lazy

Are your customers stupid? Most aren’t, they’re just really f**king lazy. Find out how that should factor in when it comes to buying from you.

Freelancers: 3 lies about working for free

When you work for free on the promise of exposure, you’re being had. You wouldn’t expect your local plumber to do it, so as a creative, neither should you.

Honesty in business: is it the best policy?

If you’re running a drug cartel, being honest in business may not be your biggest priority. Your entire operation is built on deception. And telling a few lies might keep you from being executed.

SEO vs PPC fight! What’s the difference?

For those of you totally in the dark, SEO is the organic way to get website traffic or the free way. PPC (Pay Per Click) is the paid ads route to getting traffic.

8 types of SEO to know for your business

Most things in life are rarely straightforward. SEO (Search Engine Optimisation) is sort of the same. It’s an area of marketing that has different aspects to it.

What is SEO content writing? 6 things to know

Maybe you already know. Maybe you don’t care, maybe you’re only here for the LOLs or the sordid sexual references. I dunno, only you know what brings you here.

Smash your keywords with customer intent

Be prepared to read the word ‘intent’ for some time yet. And I’m actively against keyword cramming. I’m such an arse. Also, when I hear the word ‘intent’ I always think, ‘intent to harm’ or something similar.

Content creation: attract clients by pleasing yourself

I know what you’re thinking, this is total bullshit. We attract clients by giving them content they want, right? It’s always about the client.

Learn to unlock your long-tail keywords

Here, have another really annoying business acronym – at this rate you’ll have an entire glossary of terms to ignore. I’ve lovingly written this post in the hope it will help you understand how knowing your USP can boost your organic traffic.

SEO copywriting and content writing: my process

In truth, this post is to remind me what the hell I’m meant to be doing. It’s also to help those who might hire me. If that isn’t you, go and do something else.

5 bad client traits and how to deal with them

This post goes out to those B2B peeps that have had enough of bad (client) love. Sit back, grab a beer (or tea) and listen to some superb advice on spotting the douche bag clients and how you deal with them.

Great content writing is like great sex

SEO content writing is such a dull subject that it often requires bags of humour or something scandalous. After all, I want you to enjoy reading this so you can pick out all the ‘value’ and apply it to your business.

Swearing in business: what’s the f*ckin’ problem?

Swearing. Not this old chestnut again Sarah! Yes, I know, but I don’t feel I’ve fully exorcised this demon. As Father Merrin stands by my bedside shouting “the blood of christ compels you!” I vomit this – I too, am getting tired of talking about it.

E-A-T: The SEO principle that feeds your prospects

Stuff your goddamn face with the all you can E-A-T principle of SEO. And yes, I seem to love dull subjects. Perhaps I view it as a challenge, a sort of, “how interesting/funny/rude can I make this boring topic?”

Business blog right: don’t get Barry in HR to do it

I’m sure Barry has written some very adequate emails. He might even have a GCSE in English. I’m making judgments about Barry based on very little but writing a fairly decent workplace message does not, a content writer make.

4 Reasons NOT to hire an SEO Content Writer

I hope, by now, you understand content is your best friend in terms of organic traffic, and SEO content writers are expert at getting your stuff seen on the web.

Rip up the rule book of business copy

I tried to put a lid on my personality when I started my business. I thought I needed to be something else in order for serious and important grown-ups to buy from me.

9 free ways to get organic traffic to your site

Organic traffic sounds a bit ‘vegan’ doesn’t it. It simply means visitors to your site that have landed there through a web search and not via a paid ad.

Long-form writing: the long game to attraction

If you were hoping for a guide on how to get laid, I apologise but I have no idea how you do that.

Solve client problems with your blog

I bang on about using your business blog to attract clients and generate leads. If you’re reading this you might want to know how.

Build a website with SEO: 8 bangin’ tips

This is a lovely little overview on DIY website building. It’s not a step-by-step guide based on one particular platform, rather more me, brain-dumping my knowledge for your viewing pleasure.

Writing Style Guide: create your own

Most freelancers and small business owners have no ruddy clue what a writing style guide is.

6 things to crack business content writing

When I first wrote this article we were in the grips of covid. Life was weird then, I spent most of my time drinking pints of gin and crying in the toilet. Anyway, back to business content writing…

Write an SEO-friendly blog people yearn to read

Not only does a readable SEO blog seem contradictory but it also seems boring, very square and very bloody hard.

Start a business blog: 6 easy beginner’s tips

You’ve decided to start a business blog. This is most excellent news. I am beyond thrilled, so much so I’ve put up the blog-themed bunting.

Your DIY website is crap: 4 ways to un-crap it

Some of us love a DIY website, they’re so easy to build, so cheap and fuss-free… …says no one who has tried to build one.

Blog for business: 6 reasons why you should

Blog for business. Seriously? Who the hell is going to read that shit? You might be thinking that, I get it, before I knew how to blog, I felt the same.