The Misfit’s Guide to Content Writing
*Throughout The Misfit’s Guide to Content Writing, clickable text takes you to more helpful content*
Here’s what we’re covering:
What is content writing?
Content writing is a marketing strategy. It involves writing engaging words that get people interested. The main goal is often to create brand awareness (but it does so much more. Keep reading to find out what that is). Content writing is a long-term commitment to promoting your products and services.
“Long-term commitment”—terrifying for those who can’t commit to anything. Brand awareness is one reason to write content, but if it’s the only reason, it’s a lot of effort for a slow ROI. In this guide to content writing, learn how brand awareness is the tip of the content marketing iceberg.
“Content isn’t KING, it’s EVERYTHING. (Jot that down in your New Wanketing Phrases notebook, that’s a blinder!) Alternatively, content isn’t king; it’s the kingdom. Specifically, content writing is your business. Imagine building brand awareness/selling services/nurturing existing clients/generating new leads—without words.”
Engage! Engage! Engage!
I reckon you’re pretty fed up with buzzwords (I know I am). Sadly, marketing is full of them. Hearing the phrase ‘engaging content’ makes me want to cut out my pancreas with a rusty penknife.
“Does the content keep you reading? If it does, that is, at its most fundamental level, engaging content.”
In this guide, you’ll understand the meaning of quality content. I know, quality is subjective. Even folks in your audience won’t agree on what makes your writing top-notch, so lemme put it this way: I’m going to help you write words that a lot (but not all) of your audience will enjoy.
“We assume engaging content is about the business of writing. Professional writers create engagement by default, and if you’re writing to entertain and/or delight, that’s a reasonable assumption. But content marketing and copywriting aren’t that concerned with entertaining and delighting. Yeah, it’s nice to have those things, but they’re not dealbreakers.” – Learn how to write engaging content
Writing your way.
Figure out a tone of voice and let it become your signature. But it’s not the only thing that screams your business. How you style headings, lists, and punctuation should be very you. This stuff relates to your style guide. You can use an established style guide (eg, AP Style Guide) or create your own.
Be the best writer you can be.
Well, sure, you wouldn’t try to be the worst writer, that’s nuts. Work hard at the craft and be consistently you (your business).
“Your people probably aren’t my people. Even if they were freelancers and SME types looking for a digital content strategist/writer, they still might not hire me. And that’s because I’m a bit niche. My conversational, irreverent and direct tone attracts folks who want that, but it also attracts those who don’t but enjoy my/brand personality.”
>>Rip up the rules of business content and unmask your personality<<
Like almost anything, the more you do it, the better you get. When you’re relatable, things begin to happen. Your content writing resonates with your audience.
“We play different people in life. Come-to-bed you isn’t business you (it might be if you’re a gigolo). And bezzie mates, you probably won’t be how you address clients. I mean, it can be, but what I’m trying to say is you define what professional looks and sounds like.”
“Write how you speak.”
Urm, about that…
Being all conversational is very ‘in’ right now. I write like that, but conversational writing isn’t universally appropriate, so I recommend writing how your audience speaks.
“Let us imagine, for a moment, you were a writer of the much-talked-about (ha-ha) conversational style. As such, you would use qualifiers. The words ‘very’ and ‘really’ are authentically chatty.”
>>Mark Twain hates the word ‘very’ (so don’t use it, Mark)<<
Your vibe won’t sit right with everyone you’re selling to. That’s normal. Remember, you’re dealing with humans; it is impossible to please them all.
“Your content isn’t going to get everyone going; it isn’t Jason Momoa.”
Content writing that sells.
Content writing shines the spotlight on our organisation and shouts, “Hey, over here! Look at us! We do this!” but that kind of content marketing takes time to convert. Thankfully, there are different kinds of content; content that creates a buzz and content that sells (and content that does both).
“Imagine you’ve hired a writer to create an article for your blog. The purpose is to help warm leads become warmer. You want prospects to decide how serious they are about hiring you. These folks have questions, and you want this article to have the answers.”
Blogging.
Your blog is your website’s online library, a mini search engine where you curate those useful posts around your specialist subject.
“A blog’s priority is to provide evergreen content, the kind of content that lasts a long-ass time.”
>>Update old blog posts (and SEO ’em): an easy-peasy guide<<
Do you need to blog?
If you own a website, you should blog. So yeah, bloody yes to blogging.
“You were about to start blogging for your website, but stopped because you heard blogging is dead (again). That statement bears no resemblance to the truth. It is yet another dirty squirt from the marketing shit fountain, spouted by people who hate reading/can’t write/prefer video/think AI is everything/know fuck all about blogging.”
Here are some reasons why blogging is the bollocks:
- It attracts clients
- It answers search queries
- It demonstrates expertise
- It wows with engaging content
- It oils decision-making
I’m not gonna lie, writing is work. If you want to start blogging, gird your loins for consistent long-form content creation. (Failing that, set aside a big budget for a regular writer.) Blogging is bad if you have no clue, that’s a good reason not to bother and here are a few more:
- You don’t understand the value
- You have no time
- You have no budget
Blogging for business.
I have two blogs (I luuurve blogging). SBlog is where I vent my spleen, The Sarky Type is where I vent my spleen for business.
“Before we start a business blog, we must establish the basics. Have you got your target audience nailed—I mean, really crucified? You should know all that ails your customers. You’d certainly speak to them in a way that says, yeah, that’s coming from my client’s perspective.”
Business blogging sounds terrible. Not to mention extremely uninspiring, but there’s no legitimate reason why it can’t be creative.
There’s a temptation to cut corners with blogging. LLMs seem like a great idea coz they save time, but at what cost? If you care about your clients, think long and hard before outsourcing to ChatGPT.
“I don’t think AI is a villain. It can make our lives easier. ChatGPT will improve, and just like any digital tool, it will grow in its sophistication. But like Google, it pulls its information from the internet, and we know how unreliable that information can be. If you choose to write your web content with it, you’ll spend quite some time fact-checking. It might actually take you longer to edit than to write the damn thing yourself.”
>>Should content writers launch a Luddite rebellion against ChatGPT?<<
Writing human-focused content is your priority. And Google wants you to do that. Please stop writing for bots, we are done with that shit. Visitors won’t stay on your website for very long if you churn out content that sucks.
We’ve all had the misfortune of reading a braggy blog. And yes, I nearly always mention this when I write about blogging (which is a lot). Alas, brag blogging is still very on-trend, especially for business blogs which are either boring as hell or achingly self-indulgent—and if we’re really unlucky, they’re both.
Problems, problems…
No one wants problems, do they? Bloggers love problems because they make great ideas for blog articles. If you know the struggles your clients face, you can be the answer to them. The problem might be the initial pain point or the stumbling block—that’s blocking them from buying.
“When you search online, you often have a problem. So when you google, ‘whatever happened to white dog shite’, the answer is nearly always found in a blog. Why is that? Because that’s where websites publish their helpful content. Your business is solving a problem, so why not solve problems with blogging?”
Copywriting.
“Isn’t that just the same thing as content writing?”
Don’t make me come over there! Sure, it is content, and it is writing, and actually, they share things in common. Both techniques are obsessed with your audience and the problems they need to solve.
“Copywriting is only concerned with immediate results. It requires users to make quick decisions. Conversions are what copywriting is all about.”
>>Content writing and copywriting: your website needs both<<
Content writing attracts search traffic by providing helpful information. It also primes the selling process for prospects in your funnel. Copywriting converts warm leads into clients/subs/purchasers. That’s why you use copywriting on your sales pages.
Awful copy is doing your website dirty.
Humans tend to overcomplicate things. And complicated copy is an FBI (a fucking bad idea). When you muddle your message, the audience is left wondering what you want them to do. This happens when people who have no idea write webcopy. Those folks use tired phrases that should be consigned to website-building history.
“A lot of B2B webcopy is just another skin tag on the arsehole of business websites. Here are some clichéd phrases to avoid:
1. ‘We’re delighted to announce…’
How delighted can you be to announce anything about your business? And even if you are delighted, no one else is. Your prospects most certainly aren’t—not really. It’s fine to share business milestones, but try something other than this tired expression.
2. ‘We’re the market leaders.’
It’s interesting how many market leaders there are in any given industry. For you, it might be true, but it sounds like bullshit. Instead, get specific about why you’re leading the way.
3. ‘We’re passionate about…’
You weren’t genuinely delighted, so there’s no way you’re passionate either. This is one of those clichéd phrases that induces maximum cringe. If you say you’re passionate about a thing, you probably aren’t. The budget retailer B&M Bargains laughingly uses the word ‘luxury’ on their liqueur chocolates. Demonstrate through your work what you’re truly passionate about.
4. ‘We pride ourselves on…’
This clichéd phrase is often paired with something involving customer care, customer-focused or that old faithful, customer service. It should automatically follow that your business is customer-centric; if it isn’t, in the words of my middle-school chemistry teacher, you’ve got a very serious problem.
5. ‘We’re innovative and agile.’
This nonsense is corporate fluff. Aside from the literal meaning of the words, it tells us fuck all about the business. How are you innovative? If you’re doing something pioneering, please let us know what that is. What do you mean when you say, agile? Because it can be interpreted in many ways.
6. ‘Our mission statement is…’
These tend to be a cesspool of vague, nonsensical information. You won’t get half a sentence in without seeing the word ‘empowering’. Mission statements are places where companies can flex their performative allyship—because again, your business copy should already scream your core values. There’s no need to publish a dedicated page that very few will read.”
Knowing the rules means you get to break them… er, I rarely know the rules to begin with, so I have no idea if I’m breaking them. (Is that bad? Probably.)
“‘It’s only words’ is a phrase that no half-decent copywriter should utter. Marketing and selling wouldn’t exist without words. Words are persuasive, compelling and convincing, so let’s not underestimate their power.”
Lead generation.
(Sounds like a cohort who died of heavy metal poisoning.) Lead generation, AKA attracting potential clients.
Social selling.
“Social selling is the process of developing relationships as part of the sales process. Today this often takes place via social networks such as LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest, but can take place either online or offline.”
Wikipedia
Fellow introverts, does that make you come out in a cold sweat? I don’t have anything against getting on the socials and selling; that’s what I use social media for, but there are aspects of so-called social selling that rub me the wrong way.
“Social selling pitifully tries to soften the blow of actual selling. Laughably, some people in marketing are scared to sell, so they’re after a more palatable alternative. Guess what, you’re still selling, but now it’s under the pretence of getting to know people. Which sounds smarmy and disingenuous—the opposite of what the social selling gurus will have you believe.”
And don’t get me started on the personal brand guff—I said don’t!
“By logical reasoning, companies don’t qualify for the personal brand treatment (the clue’s in the name). So those of us in business probably shouldn’t rush to hire a personal branding specialist asap. The one-size-fits-all spiel makes me wanna haul my arse over the nearest cliff (and for me, that’s about 100 miles away, but I am prepared to make the trip—that’s how strongly I feel).”
Vanity metrics.
It’s nice getting likes on social media, innit. It does summat to our brains. Validation is addictive. But do the likes and follows matter a damn to our businesses?
“Surely, delicious ego-stroking engagement helps to pull in more leads? It does make mathematical sense. Sadl,y I’m dreadful at maths (no really, don’t throw a times table at me, I will assume the foetal position and potentially die of embarrassment/childhood flashback trauma—is that a thing? I think it might be) but logically, hoards of humans opining on your content will bring forth hoards of new clients, yes? Maybe.
“I guess thousands of eyes on your social media will mean some of those eyes belong to your ideal clients. Muchos engagement does tend to attract trolls and weirdos, however. Filtering through the ‘Hi Dear’ scammers, the cringe-inducing sales pitches—and the pitiful dick pics will take up your time.”
It depends on why you’re posting, but if you’re doing it to attract clients, I guess you need to assess how beneficial it really is to your bottom line.
“Prospects I find on social media often turn out to be miserly time wasters, so I’d want to avoid more of those like I might Jeremy Clarkson’s stylist (or, Jeremy Clarkson). Another thing to note is that the folks who engage with my content aren’t usually the folks who hire me. The lurkers on LinkedIn are the ones who slide into my DMs.”
Influencers and thought leaders certainly love social selling. Openly hawking products/services is so gross, yeah!
“Personality for sales smells like brand awareness. When you post using your personality (brand voice), that’s you saying, “Hi, this is me/my business”. That’s great, btw, that’s how people get to know you, but if you’re relying on charm, people might be confused about what you do (and how it helps them). Brand awareness is top-funnel content. And the folks that read that are nowhere near ready to buy.”
Brand polarisation.
Mrs Brown’s Boys. Marmite. James Corden.
What do those three things have in common? You either love them or you hate them. Ok, there’s always ONE who neither loves nor hates Marmite, but it remains a good example of polarisation. And as a product, Marmite has really capitalised on dividing opinion. That’s exactly what the ad people at Marmite HQ want. That strong opinion makes them stand out, in all their salty brown glory.
But some brands don’t set out to be polarising; it just happens. The question is, how do they deal with it if it does? Do they placate the haters or poke fun at them? They could embrace the polarising attribute in solidarity with the die-hard fans.
“Write without care or conscience to those who hate your content. They are dead to you. Wanna learn to write content? Don’t try to reach everyone. It doesn’t work. Do you sell your products to the entire world? Of course, you don’t; not everyone wants them. Content (and sales copy) shouldn’t be universal. An inclusive philosophy does not apply here.”
Should you be funny?
I dunno, are you funny? We don’t all lol at the same jokes, so humour becomes polarising. Because of this, businesses avoid comedy. Brands are terrified of offending someone (someone who wouldn’t buy from them). Yes, it’s subjective, but if you avoid doing something for fear of losing a client, you’re in real danger of blanding, not branding.
“Unless you’re adopting Bernard Manning-style lols in your copy (which you can do, but it’s a very niche market), the funnies you choose are most likely innocuous. Even if someone within your target market gets upset, that doesn’t mean you throw the baby out with the bathwater. People are unique little flowers who get triggered—and some folks make taking offence their main occupation.”
Wanna read more like this? Check out >>The Misfit’s Guide to SEO<<
Sarah Wilson-Blackwell
I’m a freelance SEO consultant and owner of The Sarky Type®. I help businesses with their search potential. Wanna know what your SEO is doing, for free?