If you run a drug cartel, it’s safe to say, an honest business is not the priority. The entire operation is built upon deception. Telling a few lies keeps the feds from the door. Lying also buys much-needed time when the head of a South American crime family presses a gun to your temple. Making shit up, as you dig your own grave in the heart of the Bolivian jungle, certainly does hone the art of telling porkies.
Lying: A Brief History.
We all lie. (Yep, even you.)
*Cue affrontery*
When this article was first published in 2021, readers insisted they didn’t lie—it was IMPOSSIBLE for them to do so. The truth is, that’s a lie. “In one day, the average person lies four times, totalling 1,460 lies each year.”
Unless there’s a neurological reason, we all lie—unconsciously or not. We also lie by omission. What we don’t say is perceived as fibbing. Lying sits on a scale, from the big stonkers to the little white ones. We regularly lie to ourselves: I’m starting the diet Monday. That makes the forty-fifth Monday; meanwhile, those jam doughnuts won’t eat themselves.
It’s false to assume all lying is bad. It can save lives (think about the Bolivian jungle incident). Lies also bring comfort. Dying loved ones who believe in a heaven filled with beloved dead pets, waiting to greet them, should be allowed to do so. Unless you’re a bastard, you wouldn’t say, sorry Sue, that’s bollocks. No, you’d agree and hold her hand as she drifted off to nothingness. She’ll hardly be able to call you a fucking liar from pitch-black oblivion.
Many of us break promises we know we can’t keep. This happens in relationships a lot. It’s impossible to see what’s lurking around future’s corner. For example, Martin tells Sonya he’ll never leave her… unless he dies first… or he starts seeing fit Trish from work.
Some folks are always spinning a yarn: enter the pathological liar. These are a different animal altogether. They lie when there’s no legitimate reason. They can’t help it. Have you ever met one? I know one very well. I’ve studied his lying for over thirty years. He’s often the hero of the tall tales he tells. He’s always in the right place at the right time. He has an event to match everyone’s lived experience. Like many works of fiction, his accounts are often outlandish, inconceivably detailed and utter bullshit.
I’m a big fat liar.
I’m an honest business owner, but I am adept at lying. Storytellers are. And that’s my prerogative as a writer, I get to be creative with narrative, so although I’m not being dishonest in all the obvious ways, I am, quite often, telling fibs.
“I don’t think that counts, Sarah.”
Lying is lying, regardless of your perspective. The truth is, I don’t have a real-life story to illustrate every point. My life is not that thrilling. I sometimes have to make shit up.
Unscrupulous bastards.
An honest business doesn’t make money at any cost. But some make conscious decisions to do just that. You only have to peer at your junk mail to see the ubiquity of the SEO grifter. The internet is full of scam websites flogging goods that don’t exist. The sole purpose, to make as much cash as possible before it’s shut down. I fell for a similar scam when I ordered a folding piano (don’t ask. No, really. Don’t).
Not every business owner is in that top tier of duplicity. Some are looking to impress the market by appearing more successful than their bank accounts show. Welcome to LinkedIn! The place where you can be whatever you want, despite the truth. It’s full of freelancers and ‘CEOs’ trying to convince you that they’re a big deal. That’s all gravy until they’re found out. Like dead bodies in water, unsubstantiated claims have an annoying habit of rising to the top.
Shit the SEO bed with lying.
Expert authority helps your SEO. When people read your blog and client feedback, users are like, damn, you got some industry smarts, bruv.
So far, so sweet.
Google hates a bullshitter. It assesses how your content impacts your audience. So if you’re selling products and the claims aren’t credible, that’s a surefire way to balls up your ranking.
👉 You can read more about that here: E-A-T: the SEO principle that feeds your prospects.
Unethical is not unlawful.
You’ve seen the ads on YouTube: how to become a millionaire by selling air on Amazon. No proper businessperson says you can make a killing with little to no effort. Those fuckers are lying to you. The bitter pill is this: there are no quick fixes to earning more, losing fat, improving your SEO or training for Everest. Sadly, these ‘businesses’ litter their content with a haul of disclaimers, just enough to allow them to work within the parameters of the law.
Scarcity selling tactics aren’t illegal either, but we know deep down, for many companies, there’s no ‘last chance to buy’. Then there’s the hiking of prices for ONE week, only for it to drop to the ACTUAL price the following. Sofa retailers have been doing this for years, and don’t get me started on supermarkets and their ‘loyalty’ scams—I mean, schemes.
There are two certainties in life: death (more death) and the DFS sale. Long after humans have perished and the cockroaches take over, there’ll still be time to grab a Milano two-seater for £399.
Run an honest business.
Where possible and applicable, be as transparent as you can. Avoid double-talk and cultivate trust. An honest business also means accepting uncomfortable situations. An open, direct approach to business boundaries and dealbreakers isn’t for shy, retiring types. Get comfy with offering the price and how you like to be paid (upfront if you’ve any bloody sense). Ooze integrity. Respect deadlines. Value communication, and always pay on time.
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