Perfect client, is that you?

Perfect client

Client Qualifier sounds terrifying but trust me, it’s for your benefit.

We’ve all had that awkward experience of not hitting it off with a potential customer. That usually happens after we’ve wasted lots of time on calls and playing email tennis.

Your time is valuable.

Reading this blurb will save you some.

I write content that doesn’t bore the shit out of your audience. You’re here because you’re tired of boring the shit out of your audience.

But, in the words of Christian Grey, my tastes are very singular. The customer is not always right and by that, I mean right for me. 

This guff qualifies you as my business someone so if I’m not for you, you’ve dodged a bullet.

I work ruddy hard.

And if you’re my guy, you will too.

If you do hire me, there will be LOLs but I take the business of doing business very seriously.

This is what I need from you:

That’s what profesh looks like to moi.

Things to keep in mind.

The quality of the content I write depends on the quality of information you provide. If you’re vague or don’t know stuff, your new content will be vague and sound like you don’t know stuff.

Understand your ideal client like your own child.

If you aren’t marketing to a specific group or haven’t figured out the pain point you’re alleviating, I cannot write for you.

Know your keywords.

Any content that lives on a website will require keywords. Knowing yours, is, well, key. Every web page has a focus keyword. If you need new ones you can hire me to research them.

FYI: everyone describes their business as ‘friendly but professional’.

I appreciate this kind of thing can be difficult to define.

But when I ask you about your business personality/tone of voice, I’m not asking you about your values. I’m asking you about the vibe you give off. For example, you can have a business persona like mine (a frivolous sarky sod) and be fully loaded with integrity. Understand how you sound vs what you stand for.

My process.

Email is my preferred coms method. 

I don’t jump on calls to do my job but if you want to arrange a consultation call, book my Content Confab and we can chat over your ideas.

Payment is in full and upfront.

As soon as the project is paid, the work will be scheduled.

I don’t do endless rewrites.

You’re hiring me because you’re bad with words.

The brilliant writing bit is my responsibility (so take a load off). Before the proofreader gets her hands on the content, you get to check that all the important info has been added. But If you don’t value my opinion on writing over your own, you’ll be a terrible client (and you will think me an arrogant twat).

Next steps:

I’ll send the Action Plan invoice straight after.