Client qualifier

I bet you’ve had that awkward moment where you didn’t hit it off with a client.

Hey, it happens but we don’t often find that out until several emails (or calls) later.

Your time is valuable…

so reading this will save you some.

I write content that doesn’t bore the sh*t out of your audience. You’re here because a) you’re tired of bland business copy and b) you rate me as a writer.

So when you hire me you know you’re getting this:

  • Brilliant, tailored, focused writing
  • Content SEO know-how

Are you a perfect client?

In the words of Christian Grey, my tastes are very singular.

The customer is not always right and by that I mean right for me. 

This blurb qualifies you as my business someone. And Ken (can I call you Ken?) if I’m not for you you’ve just dodged a bullet.

I work ruddy hard.

And if you’re my guy you will too.

I gotta tell ya – I’m direct and honest (but respectful). If you’re super fluffy, that might not fly.

Work with me and there will be LOLs but I take the business of doing business very seriously so I collab with people that are just as dedicated.

This is what I need from you:

  • To accept my process
  • To respond in a timely manner
  • To provide all the information I request
  • To honour timescales

That’s what profesh looks like to moi.

Things to keep in mind…

The quality of the content I write will be determined by the quality of the information you provide. If you’re vague or don’t know stuff, your new content will be whack.

Know your ideal client like your own child.

If you aren’t marketing to a specific group or haven’t figured out the pain point you’re alleviating, I cannot write for you (soz). The research I undertake relies on your understanding of your audience.

Know your keywords.

Any content that lives on a website will require keyword research. And if you want webcopy, knowing your keywords is a must – a must!

Saying you have no clue about SEO is not only unhelpful but it means you’re ill-prepared. For each web page, there will be a focus keyword. I’ll need to know what they are before I put finger to keyboard.

My process.

I do everything via email. 

I don’t jump on calls to do my job.

And I know it sounds unsexy but as long as you follow instructions this will be the most simple working relationship you have ever had. But if you communicate better on a call, you need to find a content writer who can give you that.

Payment is in full and upfront.

I don’t waste time chasing invoices. As soon as the project is paid, the work will be scheduled.

I don’t do endless re-writes.

You’re hiring me because you’re bad with words. The brilliant writing bit is my responsibility so take a load off.

Before the proofreader gets her hands on the content you check all the important info has been added… but that’s not a cue for you to ‘suggest’ edits – hell no. If you don’t trust and value my opinion on writing over your own, you’ll be a terrible client (and you will think me an arrogant tw*t).

Want more serious-sounding guff? Read this → Terms of Service.


Next steps.

(I’ll send the Action Plan invoice straight after.)