Business guru’s and other fairy stories

I think you know what I’m referring to, the unicorn-botherers. The people that share a vague inspirational quote, a quote that they themselves wrote. How do we know they wrote it? Because they went mad on Canva and used their name as the citation.

I had this dream last night…

Do you lose the will to live when you hear someone say that? I do, especially when the person in question is really bad at telling stories. My mum doesn’t remember her dreams (thankfully) but she has an annoying habit of explaining the plot to a film – a film that I have no intention of watching. The more I disengage from what she’s telling me the longer she takes. She clearly does it on purpose.

It makes sense that great content writers are good at telling a few tales. I try, but often fail in making my business content sing with narrative. So I resort to swearing. But this post isn’t really about content, it’s about the dream I had when I was a Sex Mentor.

Now you’re interested

There was this sweet guy, in his early twenties who coached kids football. He was so kind and caring, and although he was popular with the mums, he couldn’t get laid. He was paralysed with embarrassment about being a virgin. Now, physically this guy was built, by that I mean, well built. He had a pretty nice face too, only, he had a slight disfigurement on his lip.

This poor lad needed some help and that’s where I, the Sex Mentor come in, so to speak

Dreams are often shit at being linear, they certainly don’t care about making any sense so I can’t begin to explain why I’m hanging around a kids sports centre. I can tell you that we met on the pitch and started talking. The conversation soon moved to his problem, not just being a virgin but his issues surrounding confidence. 

They give you just enough value to keep you on the hook

I encouraged him to look at what he has to offer a potential partner. I then go on to say, that if he is still very nervous we could try a practice run – get his first time out of the way by using my ‘legitimate’ sex mentoring programme.

The sex mentoring programme is me, having sex with him. But I couldn’t just say that. That would be less complicated, but this is a dream after all

I assure him that it’s perfectly legal and I’m registered with the correct governing bodies. Furthermore, I wouldn’t enjoy it, it would be my job. To be clear, I am not manipulating him to have sex with him. I would never do that.

He agrees and says that it would help if he could lose his virginity, without the added pressure to perform. I can sense he already feels much more relaxed.

We book an evening when I would fully mentor him.

Turns out, he needn’t have worried. He was a class act in that department, but we booked several more nights of mentoring just to be sure. I don’t know where I’m going with all this. I just had this dream and thought, how the hell can I create a blog post from it. 

Let’s try this tenuous link:

Getting help from people you trust

Do you have an accountability buddy? As you’re reading this I’m going to hazard a guess and say that you don’t. I hope if you do, have such a person that you just call them a business partner or a friend. The idea that they will hold you to account if you don’t complete that vision board is a true sign of how ridiculous we have become.

Finding decent people who can tell you the truth, if indeed you “can handle the truth” is the sort of ‘tough love’ we all need and sometimes, in business we have to get practical, stop fucking about and make decisions.

Being told that something is a terrible idea is often more useful than being praised constantly by fawning followers

Don’t let people take advantage

Sounds obvious, I know but you’ll always get those people – like me, as a Sex Mentor, trying to manipulate certain vulnerabilities for personal desires. In my case, I wanted that youthful, nubile body and to get it, I had to convince the poor guy in question that it was for his own benefit. These so-called mentors and business wankers will do the same, only they promise unimaginable success and wrap it up in all the right buzzwords. 

Actually, the guy in my dream seemed to be getting something out of it too, so that might have been a poor example.

Listen to your instinct

The smell of bullshit isn’t always so easy to sniff out these days. People are clever and they hire decent people to give them credibility, so all I can say is, if it doesn’t sit right with you, don’t go there.

There are plenty of brilliant business coaches and mentors out there, but sadly they’ve been tarred with the same brush as all those hollow-worded piss-stains. The fake guru will reveal their true personality sooner or later, I just hope you haven’t invested 5K in their new Wealth Mastermind before you realise. 

Find a great content writer

This really has been the most confusing post. I bang on about leading the reader through content, the destination being, for them to ‘take action’ but this time all you’ve received is a stream of consciousness and some ramblings about sex mentoring. But do sort your content out though, it’s really important yeah.

Incidentally, fake mentors often hire really great content writers to strategically target a certain market. We’ve all seen those slimy and manipulative ads on Facebook.

If you’d like to read how you can write better SEO friendly content, check out more from My Blog.

Want me to do the work for you by SEO’ing the shit out of your copy? Take a look:

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